Letter to my 21 year old self.....

This entry was a link-up between several bloggers that I follow several weeks ago, but I loved reading all the letters and wanted to write on myself, but I am a little OCD about having my blogs in order of my life events...weird, I know, but it's how I am and I wouldn't have liked it any other way!  So, this entry was the next on my list as I am trying to play catch up with my blog!  I am sooooo far behind! 

Dear Allison (21),
Happy Birthday to you!  This is the year that you have been waiting for, November 2004...you can finally drink legally!  You will soon find out that it isn't as fun to drink when you are 21 as it was when you were under age...there is something about breaking the law that you liked...you little rebel you!  A little advice...it is not a good idea to completely fill out the 21 shots book that your sorority sisters made for you the day before you have nursing clinicals at 0630...you will get to your clinical on time, but you will have to excuse yourself from a patient's room to bury your head in the toilet and then lie to your preceptor; conviencing her that you are just fine...really all you want to do is curl up in a ball and die, but you get through it!  Thank goodness your clinicals were only until 2pm that day...a 12 hour shift would have killed you! 

Mom and Dad will take the whole family to Vegas for Thanksgiving a week after you turn 21, and you will not miss out on a chance to have every alcoholic drink possible...and you will eventually be so hammered that as Dad watches you and Jera walk toward his craps table...you two bump into each other and almost end up on the floor and Dad, well he would do anything not to claim you as his own! There is nothing "cute" about the "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" shirt that you bought at Rue 21, and when you look back on this Vegas trip you will want to shoot yourself in the head that you wore this shirt and actually thought it was the best shirt ever!

Nevermind the mean girl, she will NOT give up and will bully you until you will no longer let her...she loves getting a rise out of you!  When you finally realize that she will never be your friend; you give up trying to please her.  Unfortunately, she will move on to the next person when she realizes that you no longer care about being her friend, and she picks the sweetest girl ever...be there for that girl...she needs you, you know what it's like...it's not fun and it hurts like hell!  You will almost drop out of Delta Zeta because you think it's the only way to get away from her, believe me, you will thank yourself in 8 years that you stuck it out...you now love what Delta Zeta has to offer and have met so many wonderful people in the alumnae group.  Thanks for giving up on a toxic friend and sticking it out...those tears were worth it!

Stop trying to make it work with the guy that mom and dad would never approve of, your relationship with him is not up to par and it doesn't last much past March 2006.  Yes, I know, you think you are in love, but really he's selfish, doesn't really care much about you, in fact, he won't be able to make a decision about being with you until it's too late.  Yes, in 8 years, he is in medical school, married, and has the most adorable little girl, (everything you always thought you wanted and would have by now) but the truth is, you are so freaking happy where you are with your life that you are the first to congratulate him on his huge life events.  Besides in 8 years down the road, you aren't sure if you ever want to have children, you are so independent it doesn't bother you in the least that you aren't married, and you would never tolerate supporting a medical resident while you work your ass off....

Make every effort possible to drive the 15 miles and spend time with Grandpa and Grandma, jump on the opportunities when he calls and wants to take you out for dinner (even though it's dinner at the pig trough Golden Corral)...little do you know that you lose him sooner rather than later and you never knew what a broken heart felt like until he was gone.  You never knew that you could miss someone so much!  Cherish the time you have with Grandma when she actually knows who you are, when Grandpa goes to heaven, you will cry many tears when Grandma calls you Margaret; you will be devastated that she doesn't know who you are anymore...you know she's still alive and you make every effort to see her, but she's just not the "grandma" you had when growing up.  You will learn to love her even more than ever...it just breaks your heart that she is stuck in a small small world of her own...

You have so many great things ahead of you...yes, it'll be bittersweet to graduate college, move from that great small college town, leave your best friends, and be out all on your own, but you will learn to love life!  Believe me, every hard time you go through will make you stronger...in 8 short years you will be a very happy, independent person that loves life...keep pushing...life gets sooooo much better!

With much love,
Allison (29)