One of those nights....

It's one of those nights where I'm feeling lonely and having some self-pity.  Not that I am proud of that, but everyone has to feel sorry for themselves every once in a while.  In about an hour or so, I'll snap out of it and be over but until then, I'm sitting here in my condo listening the waves below me almost on the verge of tears.  I am wishing that I was still in Corpus Christi with all the friends that I met when I was working down there!  Those people are fabulous people.  But, then I can't help but feel a little guilty for not wishing I was in Kansas City with my friends that I have had since college or in western KS with my family.  So, as you can tell I am a basket case of emotions right now!!  Don't get me wrong, I'm lovin' life on the east coast, but one can't help but feel a little lonely when they are out on the road by themselves, knowing only the people that they work with.  It makes me more lonely to know that my mom is in South Dakota visiting my older sister, and that my little sister is snuggled in to OUR chair at my parents house watching TV by the fire.  As for me, I'm sitting in a wicker chair that is horribly uncomfortable, watching Madagascar 2 on a Sony 32 in' box TV, with the only light coming from a lamp on the table behind me, and my bed in my living room sitting right next to me. 
Somethings on the upside:
*I got to sleep until noon today
*I discovered Netflix and am officially in love with watching TVshows/movies streaming on my computer
*I continue to love to beautiful ocean view that I get to look at everyday
*Playing Words with Friends (I have like 5 games going right now)
*The text messages from my mom and put a huge grin on my face
*My upcoming trip to Washington DC with another traveler that has become a good friend
*A random phone call from a great friend I made in Corpus Christi
*A new delicious snack that I found today...Special K low-fat granola
After looking back over that list...it looks like my life is pretty good after all!!! 

Sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean

Today, I made myself get up at 6:45 am and go out to the beach to watch the sunrise!!  It was beautiful!!  It was so quiet and was a great time for some self reflection!  Even, though it was 35 degrees, it was fabulous!

While was I was out there waiting for the sun to peek over the ocean I found these little critters:

A horseshoe crab...I found him on his back.  I kicked him around a bit, but I think he was already on his back for way too long.  I kicked him over and he didn't move, but when I went out to the beach a little later this afternoon, he was gone. 

This little crab was still alive, and I got him back to the water.  However, those stupid seagulls saw what I was doing and even though I tried hard to get this little guy back to the water alive, a seagull got him!  I wish at that moment I had a gun!!!  I would have shot that bird so fast!

Murphy bed

I told you in my first Delaware post that I was going to have to adjust to a Murphy bed and that there would be pictures to follow.  I had been having trouble with my camera allowing me to upload photos, but I got it figured out today and here is my Murphy bed.

First, I'm a wall:

Then, I'm a bed:

Spring is in the air...

Today was like no other day...the constant arguing with myself about working out.  It goes something like this..."Today will be my day off this week." "But you have to work those other days and it will probably be dark out when you get off."  "Oh, just do it, you will feel better when you get done."  "I have all this other stuff to do."  It seems like it's a constant battle for me and I'm not really sure why.  I don't like working out, but I love how I feel when I'm done.  I also love that my calorie counter increases when I submit a workout. 
So today, exercise won the battle and I am so glad that it did.  Everywhere I looked was sign that spring is in the air and I love it!!! 
Here are some signs of spring that I saw today while on my run:
*people walking their dogs
*people working in their yards
*dogs on chains in the yard
*two old men critquing the job some builders are doing on a new house
*a cat sunbathing in a yard
*daffodils in bloom (I love daffodils)
*a convertible with the top down
*bike riders
*a squirrel crossing a power line
*almost every tree in bloom
*tons of people down by the ocean
*the bright shining sun
*temperature in the 60's

Ash Wednesday

"You have something on your forehead."  That sentence is one that Catholic's hear non-stop on this day that begins that season of Lent.  Some people just don't know what the purpose of the ashes of our foreheads mean:
          "On the first day of Lent, we sign our foreheads with ashes because they are a biblical symbol of mourning and penance.  The ashes are signed in the sign of the cross because in the Bible, a mark on the forehead is a symbol of ownership.  By having our foreheads marked with ashes in the shape of a cross, it states that we belong to Christ crucified.  It also recalls our Baptism when we were claimed for Christ and marked with the sign of the cross by the priest and our parents.  It is through Christ Jesus that we are delivered from the slavery of sin and made alive for God" (Romans 6:3-18).
It's important to understand that Lent is a time for examination and introspection.  The lituriges that are used during mass are simplified to reflect a spirit of quietness and much of the singing is omitted.  The purpose of this is so that during the quietness we can dispose ourselves to looking inward, into our hearts, to see where repentance and forgiveness are needed. 
Many people that aren't Catholic participate in the "giving something up" for Lent.  However, when doing so people need to remember that you aren't giving something up that is "easy", or as soon as those 40 days and nights are over you can't wait to have what ever it is that you "gave up".  These 40 days are dedicated for some major self-reflection and the sacrifice that you make during Lent should lead you to becoming a better person.  A lot of people don't give anything up, they simply do something that will better their life, like volunteering, going to church during the week, saying a rosary a day, spending so many hours in the church praying, etc.
"Remember man that thou art dust and unto dust thou shall return."

ORIENTATION & DREAM OVERLOAD!!!!

OMG!!!!  This orientation is for  a nurse that has seriously never been in a hospital before!!  After a 40 hours of sitting in a classroom learning the ins and outs of Beebe Medical Center, 6 hours of drawing blood from people in the outpatient lab, 4 hours of computer orientation (only to find out I have 4 more hours to complete), 3 hours of powerpoints learning about aquapheresis and IABP, 45 mintues of a med. calculation test...I FINALLY get to take care of patients tomorrow!!!  Nonetheless, an open heart patient straight from the OR!!!  I'm jumping for joy!!!  I was on the floor for a little bit today doing more paperwork and met some great people.  One being, a travel nurse from the same company I work for and she is my age!!!  Double YAY!!!!  Even though my alarm will be going off at 5:00 am...I can't wait to do what I love tomorrow!!!
Today, I had to be at the outpatient lab at 7:00 am, so when I got up it was still dark out.  I was totally pumped I was going to get to see the sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean!!!  It was sooo pretty!!  Can't wait for more sunrises!
Since I have been here I have went to see a couple movies:

I love Jennifer Aniston...but this movie was just ok!!!  I did laugh out loud several times!!!

Oh Big Momma!!!  These movies never get old me, but I shouldn't have paid $7.50 to see this movie...it wasn't that good!!!  However, it too, made me laugh out loud!

So, I had a heart stopping experience this last week. I ran out the door to orientation at about 7:30 am, shut and double checked the door.  Now, I know I double checked it because I have been having trouble with it latching and I become very OCD when I am leaving the house.  I have to triple check to make sure that I have my keys before I shut the door, and I have to double check that the door latched (this is every place I have lived).  But, one day this week, I am be-bopping up to my door and it's open...I am pretty sure that my heart fell to my stomach!  I walked in, to find everything in the same perfect spot that I left it, but I double checked every closet and the tub, to find no one!!!  THANK YOU LORD!!!! 

I have no idea what is wrong with me, but usually I don't dream...well that I remember.  I haven't had a dream that I can remember in forever, until last night!  I didn't sleep at all, well it seemed like it because my head was spinning!  I had a total of 3 different dreams in a 6 hour span....I was EXHAUSTED to say the least! 
~Dream #1:  I owned a mini cooper...I have always thought that they were so cute!  Anyway, my mom and I were in downtown Washington DC driving this little car when all of a sudden those concrete blockades that either divide a highway or construction sites, just started to get narrow and kept getting even more narrow until I smashed this perfect little mini cooper right into it...all I remember was my mom yelling "Alli" like she did when I was in trouble when little....and that was it...it was over.
~Dream #2:  I was dreaming that this scorpion was crawling on me, and it actually felt like something was crawling on me...I woke up to my arms flailing around like I was drowning to get this scorpion off of me before it stung me...NUTS!!!
~Dream #3:  It seemed like this dream lasted for days!!  If any of you know my dad, you know that he is totally against tattoos...so much that he has threatened my sisters and I with our students loans if we get a tattoo, period...we will owe him that money in full!  Anyway, so apparently I decided that I was getting a tattoo in this dream...and I didn't get just one, but I got three of the dumbest tattoos EVER!!!!  The first tattoo was one that covered my entire left leg from my foot to my knee, it was a mixture of blue, red, and yellow and it had a KU Jayhawk that wrapped around my leg. DUMB!!!  The second one was a caricature of myself on my right calf, again ridculous!!!  The one was a square on my left arm where my forearm and elbow meet.  It was a square, and in the middle of the square it said, "basketball girl".  WTH!!!!  Through the rest of this dream I was trying to figure out how to hide these tattoos from my dad while we were on vacation to the beach in San Diego!  It was so stupid, but when I woke up I was sweating and really worked up!! I guess my dad knows exactly what to threaten us with!  Here's to a dreamless night!!!! :)

Tomorrow starts one of the most important seasons of my religion.  Lent!!!  A blog on Lent...to be continued!

Aroma Therapy

I love things that smell good!!!  Everytime I have moved the first thing that comes out of the boxes are my Bath & Body Works wall flowers and oil burner!!!  I love having scents that match the season...the fall scents are my absolute fav!!!  I have used my oil burner that I got from a great friend so many times and never had a problem with it...until last night!!!  I had been burning my oil for what seemed like was at least an hour...I was half way involved in the KU basketball game and half way occupied by my computer, when Tori called me...we had our daily chit-chat, but while talking on the phone I thought my oil burner was making a funny noise.  Anyone that has an oil burner knows that they don't make noises...you simply burn a tea candle in the bottom of it and heats up the oil and smells delicious.  Well, when I glanced over at it, it looked fine, so I returned to my business on the computer. Then all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye I see this huge flame coming from the bottom of my oil burner!  My computer went flying across the room and I ran to the kitchen for some water!!!  I threw the water on it and it went out, but it didn't stop smoking...so the smoke alarm in my condo went off.  My heart was beating so fast and I was thinking..."Seriously, it's 10:30 pm and NO ONE is going to be happy if we have to evacuate the building because of my stupid oil burner."  Luckily, I was able to shut the smoke alarm off, and opened the sliding glass door to air out my condo!  Thank goodness I didn't burn this building down!!!

I have been in hospital orientation all week, and am ready to shoot myself!  It has all been pretty boring and nothing too exciting has happened, and then there was today!! While in college I had major test anxiety...to the point where one of my instructors had me go to a test taking skills workshop.  So, today when I walked in and saw that a medication test was on the schedule, I totally freaked out!!  I HATE TESTS!!!!  I had anxiety all day that I was dealing with pretty well, until...a lab person told me that I was going to have to let one of my peers take my blood sugar.  Now, I know what you all are thinking, but even though I'm a nurse, I HATE NEEDLES!!!  I can give all the shots, start all the IVs, take all the blood sugars I have to without a second thought, but the second that needle is coming toward one of my body parts, I get major anxiety!!!  I would rather be miserable for several more days until the antiboitics start working than get a one time shot and feel better in hours!  So, I had to give my finger over for another nurse to poke it with a lancet to get a drop of blood.  Now knowing my fear of needles, I would rather have a huge needle stuck into my arm than a little prick on my finger...it stings FOREVER!!!! And, my blood sugar was high...I blamed it on my anxiety and the fact that I had just eaten lunch an hour before...I sure hope it is...there is no way that I would be a good diabetic with all the needles!!!  I am now relaxed, but it sure was a day full of anxiety!!!!