Simple Reminders

Yesterday's post was a little depressing, and while I have read it over and over again, the last time I read it, which was right before I opened this tab for a new post, I didn't cry.  Those tears are put away!  I made a promise to myself when I got off work this morning and crawled into bed that I was not going to shed one more tear over this situation….instead, I am going to hold my head high, move on, and remember the fun, happy times I had with the person that disappointed me.  There were soooo many great times, and I don't regret any of those moments for a second, so I will remember them and continue through this journey.

After I made this promise to myself, I was actually able to have a restful sleep, and I woke up with a smile on my face!  It's the simple little reminders that you get when you are down that help with your healing.

The ones that I received today were:
*a snap chat from my sister of the cutest little nephew ever with the biggest smile on his face
*a friend that posted a "Brave" saying on Facebook that actually made my heart smile
*a delicious blended ice coffee that I made…oh boy was is yummy
*puppy kisses when I opened my eyes and saw the cutest little face just waiting for me to wake up
*a smile from a stranger when I was out walking Mia

This day is a new day…and I, my friends will conquer it!

Disappointment

DISAPPOINTMENT...This word seems to be my major defeat right now.  I have a lot of people in my life that I love, trust, and cherish.  Then there are those people, the ones that you least expect that will tear you down, disappoint you, prove they aren't who they said they were….and well, you reap the emotions of pain, anxiety, tears, and heartache.
Yesterday, I was sorely disappointed by one person that I trust and KNEW was a genuinely good person.  As, I tossed and turned last night replaying every moment in my head, trying to figure out what happened, and just yearning for the feelings of hurt and disappointment to go way, I pleaded with my God to free me…
Free me from the pain….
Free me from the tears…
Free me from the anxiety…
….Just free me….
I begged for him to take my hand and lead to the path that he has built for me…one that I know doesn't have this feeling of disappointment in it.

As I fell into a restless sleep full of unwanted dreams, I was still full of all those emotional feelings that no one wants to feel.  I woke up this morning unsure of how to conquer this day…not quite sure how I felt, what I was going to do about the disappointment I was experiencing, but I dragged myself out of bed, pulled on my workout gear, painted a fake happy face on…

As I got into my car, I was longing for a song that would speak to my heart, I prayed for one…
…one that would make me smile a genuine smile.
…one that would touch my heart with a little happiness.
…one that would put my head in a good place.
And there it was…a song that I have loved since I first heard it…and it has always spoken to my heart. One that I know is oh so true!  I have only listened to it about 17 times this morning!  I began wishing that home wasn't 3.5 hours away…I need that feeling of love from people that don't struggle to give out me…the love that comes easy for them.

Through my sadness and tears, I know that I have big things ahead me.  I will not be down forever, but a girl has to cry every once in a while.  These tears were brought on by someone that I trusted, loved, enjoyed spending time with, and was able to talk to in a way that I have never been able to talk to anyone…and when those things are gone, tears are warranted! 

I have read this saying many of times before, but today, I needed it more than ever!  I have strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way…all because of HIM! 

Summer 2014

Once again I start out by saying that it's been a long time since I have written in my little space on the internet.  It's been since March, the beginning of Lent.  I find myself saying, it's August already…where has this summer gone?  My summer happenings have been fun, busy, full of love, and most of all full of peace.  Since, my summer was a busy rush that just flew right past me, I will mark it with bullet points and hit the details!

*My first niece Leah Mary was born at the end of May and of course I made a trip to the tundra to love on that little girl!  She is absolutely adorable.  I learned that there is always enough room in an auntie's heart for more nieces and nephews!

* I got to take the road trip to the tundra with my little sister and her adorable son while following my mom and dad!  We made this trip through the plains of KS, NE, and SD on two-lane highways.  It was like a game of chicken when trying to pass the ever so slow cars that were in front of us!

*One of my best friends from high school had her second son, Archer in June!  I love watching my friends become mother's…it never gets old!!!

*I did a lot of hiking from the end of May to the middle of June and loved every minute of it!  Colorado is beautiful and the scenery never gets old. Mia even got to join in on one hike!!!

*Red Rocks concert for the 4th of July was amazing!  The fireworks all over the city were awesome to watch when you are at one of the most beautiful outdoor venues in the the state!  

*Rockies games with friends are bound to be the best time ever!!!  Even though you don't even find your seat or know who won when you leave the stadium! 

*Through all the hiking I did this summer I would have to say that the incline hike in Colorado Springs was the toughest by far!  2000 ft. of elevation gain in less than a mile just might kill anyone, however I live to talk about it!  It was a great hike and very rewarding!  

* I found love and I lost it…but that's ok!  You win some, you lose some.  While it sucks and sometimes you don't understand…you can chose to dwell on it or continue to live life and do things that make you happy.  I have chosen the greater path, grabbed Jesus' hand, and continued on with life.  However, I do know one thing….I will continue to love with all my heart…some will run, but I am waiting for the one that stays! 

*It never fails…those Priests and their homilies will put tears in my eyes and make me see the bigger picture.  It's been awhile since I have actually cried in church, but this summer, I have cried a couple times.  Wiping those tears that flow down my face reminds me that the Lord is there for me, he will take all my hurt, my worries, my anxiety, and my fears…he will conquer them and help me to make me the strongest person I have ever been.  

*I'm still riding my bike, but far less than before!  I had a ride planned in May, but the friend that I was riding with ruptured her calf and was unable to ride, so I bowed out too!  We are riding the Bikes & Brews ride in the Royal Gorge in September and I can hardly wait!  We even recruited another person that just began riding this summer!

*Running has been on my back burner this summer and I need motivation!!!!  However, I did bust out the sneaks and ran 4 miles yesterday, boy did I need that therapy!  

*I became a member of Orange Theory Fitness in April, and I just happened to find the new love of my workout life!  Oh that place….AUH-MAZING!  It is a group workout session for an hour…30 minutes of rowing/crossfit and 30 minutes of interval training on the treadmill.  I am freaking out, as I signed up for their Dri-Tri that is next Sunday….2000 meters of rowing/300 reps in the gym/5K run!  WHAT AM I THINKING?!?!?!?!!?!?

*I am anxiously awaiting the visit of my parents this weekend and my sister and her family over Labor Day weekend!  I need some time with my favorite people!  It couldn't come at a better time for me right now! 

*School, well I'm still grinding away!!!  I am finishing up my 4th class of grad school and seriously can't wait for Christmas break as I have no breaks until then!  I think for the first time ever in my life I have a 4.0 GPA…WHOOP WHOOP!!!!  :)

Alright, I think that sums up my summer!  I still have a hiking/camping trip from Aspen to Crested Butte coming up, visitors, biking riding, and more fun that I am sure will be a blast!  

Through all the things that I did this summer, I have to say that I am ready for Fall!  I can't wait to get my decorations up, buy my favorite Fall scents from Bath & Body Works, see the beautiful scenery through this gorgeous state, a virtual 5k with some of my favorite bloggers, and of course my Chiefs, who won their first pre-season game!  I can't wait to do that Tomahawk chop at Arrowhead (I'm praying I can make it to KC for a game)!!!!!!! 

Ok, I think that is enough!  I always promise to not go MIA from this part of my life, but I always do!!  When I do I think about it, and then don't write, but as I wrote this post it was good therapy for me and hopefully motivation to keep on writing!  Well, I am signing off to put a little Whitney Houston on the pandora and get to cleaning for the rents visit this weekend!  

MUAH!!!!!