Bipolar Heart

As I sit and write this my heart is full of happiness, yet it has a little sadness in it as well!  I am not sure what to feel right now.
I am a huge family person…like HUGE!
I would spend every minute of every day with my family if that was realistic!
I have the best family in the world…

I am happy because my 14 yr. old nephew is on cloud 9 since he got on the  freshman"A" team in basketball….
His dream….His life…His love…
His smile is priceless and the biggest I have ever seen it!

I am happy because in July I will be the Auntie of 4 kids instead of 3…
My older sister is pregnant and blessing our family with another little baby!
I will have another one to spoil and love with all my heart!

I am happy because I just got to spend 2 solid days with my nephew Owen!
It was just me and Owen!
He had me smiling every minute of those two days!
He snuggled in my arms and slept so peacefully!

I am happy because my mailbox is full of Christmas cards from family and friends….near and far!
There are constant knocks at my door to deliver my family's Christmas presents!
I got to spend time with friends at an ugly Christmas sweater party…and had a blast!
I am spending the day in my kitchen making Christmas goodies for my friends and family.

I am happy….

There is that one part of my heart that is….
….sad
….depressed
…full of tears.

I left my hometown Friday evening with my eyes full of tears.
Knowing that I would be back there nor see my family until after Christmas is over, is a hard thing for my to swallow.
It happens every other year…but it doesn't get any easier.
Working the holidays is something that I despise the most…
Anyone would rather be with their family…including me!

My happiness definitely trumps my sadness, but spending the holidays by myself and working is hard…oh so very hard.
Going to Christmas eve mass by myself is not ideal….
Walking into an empty apartment on Christmas morning after work is tough…
Calling my family to wish them a Merry Christmas instead of telling them in person is torturous…

So while I am taking care of your family while wishing like hell I was with mine.
Hold your family dear and don't take for granted the holidays that you get to spend with your family.
I know that during Thanksgiving I cherished every single second I had with them as I knew it would pass to quickly and like the snap of a finger our 2013 holiday would be over….


*I wrote this post on December 18th and completely forgot about it…but I still wanted to post it!*

So Thankful….

Thanksgiving was absolutely amazing this year!!!  I headed to Oakley to spend 5 days with my family…we were all there…every.single.one.of.us!  Some made an 8 hour drive, some made a 3 hour drive…and some well they made 5 block drive!  No matter the distance we all came together for great memories and family time!

My mom made a fabulous spread of food…and no one walked away hungry!  I made the pumpkin pie and my little sister made the apple pie!

The spoiled nephews!!!  Love them!

SISTERS!!!

Nana & Papa and their boys!

Love them!!!

My Godson Owen!!!  

After Thanksgiving the "girls" and the "babies" made the trip to Hays to see my grandma that is in a nursing home!  Of course she didn't know who we were, but that doesn't matter any more!  She is still grandma…and we al had great visit!  She loved the babies and held Owen for a long time…with a smile on her face!  We met up with my mom's brother and sister and their families for lunch…it's always great to get together with them and see my cousin…oh my how they have grown up!!!

Hudson showing Great Grandma Alice his car!

Owen and Great Grandma Alice

Great-Grandsons!

Sisters with Grandma Alice

Cousins!

Friday night our small hometown had a light parade and firework display complete with smokes and hot chocolate!  We headed downtown in the chilly weather and enjoyed the perks of a small town!  Hudson had a ball with all the trucks, police cars, fire trucks, ambulances, and of course the tow truck that just happened to have "Mader" from Cars on the back of it!  He was in heaven!!!  The glow in his eyes and the smile on his face was priceless!

We had the 2 cutest turkeys!

The Potter's!

Nick and I

Family!

Mom and her girls!

Nick making his smore!

Saturday was the most gorgeous day ever! It was close to 65 degrees! I spent the morning watching Finding Nemo with Hudson, my 2 year old nephew and enjoying coffee by the fire! I went on a long run and went driving with Nicholas who is learning to drive!!!  Nothing like being able to practice in a small town!  Then we were off to church!  We have a little tradition of going to the Oakley Country Club every Saturday night after mass…and that we did!  After we headed back home we popped open another bottle of champagne and sat around the living room and had small talk as everyone was headed home the next day!

 
I am such a family person, and I cherish every time we are together!
I have so much to be thankful for!
I am sad that "our" holiday is already over this year, but it is one that I won't forget!!!
Here's to working Christmas…..

San Francisco: The Girls

As I finish up my recap of my birthday trip to the Fog City, I thought I would take a moment to thank each and everyone of the girls that jumped on the bandwagon without a second thought back in July when I started planning it!  They never questioned the trip and couldn't wait until the day we actually left.  We talked about it for months, then it was time to board the departing plane, then we arrived in the city, and now we are each back to our daily lives of work, kids, husbands, and more work!  This trip was amazing due to each of the girls that were more than excited to join in on the fun!

Sarah

Sarah and I go way back to high school, even though we didn't actually go to school together, we went to the same church.  Through our youth group we went on many trips together as teenagers, and then college came and we went to different schools.  I applied to nursing school and got my acceptance letter, but little did I know that this girl who I never kept in contact with would be joining me in nursing school!  After we started nursing school, we were inseperable and the best of friends.  Not to mention, late night study buddies for 2 solid years!  I love this girl, and was so happy when she said she would go on the trip with me....out of all of the people I invited, I really didn't think Sarah would go because she is a wife and mommy...but she was so excited and had a blast in San Fran!  Thanks for taking time out from being mommy to celebrate with me.  I loved having you there, you are the greatest friend!

Sarah and I when she lived in Miami and I went to visit.  We thought it was sooo cool to smoke a little hooks!  

Lexie

Lexie and I met when I walked into the Delta Zeta house my first semseter of college and we hit it off right away!!!  When we got in trouble with cops the next semester she was always looking out for me!  She graduated before I did, but we always kept in touch and even lived together for 2 years when I moved to KC.  Lexie was there for me during good times and bad, and when I look back at our time as roomies, we laughed a ton!  Thank you so much for coming on this trip!  I know that I can always count on you!  My favorite quote from the trip came out of your mouth, "We're not assholes, we're your best friends." Touche my friend, touché!

Amanda

Amanda and I went to school together from Kindergarten to walking across the stage together at our high school graduation.  This girl will make you laugh until you cry!  She introduced herself to the rest of the girls with, "Hi, I'm Amanda and I have no filter.  I lost it at birth."  And it's true, Amanda does not have a filter so you can imagine the amount of laughs she caused on this trip!  She was the first one to jump on the band wagon and sent her money to me in lightening speed!  She was so excited to go, and I am so glad that she went!  Thank you so much for going, I had a blast with you and your no filter!  Laughing...that is what you make me do best!

Rosa

When I walked into my new employee orientation here in Denver, I scoped the group to see if I would have a new friend...and when Rosa opened her mouth about hypothermia protocol, I knew that we would be working in the ICU together. We had lunch everyday of orientation and then she saw a picture of my dog who was a little tiny pup then, and it was over!  She has become one of my very best friends and I am so glad that this hospital brought us together! We are oh so different, but oh so much a like!  We have went on road trips, met each other's families, and have many mutual friends! Thank you so much for joining us!  I loved having you there!  Thanks for being such a great friend!

Sabra

When I first met Sabra she answered the phone at work and I heard, "CICU this is Zebra." And I thought to myself, "Who in the world names their child Zebra." All night long I tried to glance at her name tag, but could never see it.  I went home thinking her name was Zebra...I was oh so wrong...THANK GOODNESS!!  Sabra and I talked and talked after that and she got me into cycling. The next summer we spent many hours and miles on our saddle and become great friends!  Sabra calms down my drama and anxiety because she is not any of the above!  She is also the best drinking buddy/wine sipping girl a friend one could ask for!  Thanks for coming to San Fran, I know you love that city and I was so happy you came!  I know the first day was difficult for you due to lack of sleep, but no one would have ever known it!  I can't wait for our case of wine to arrive!!!  Here's to sipping fabulous vino!

Star

Star is Sarah's cousin and we met when we were both in Sarah's wedding.  She moved to good ole western KS, and we would run into each other every now and then!  When Sarah was talking about the trip, Star asked if she could go and I am so glad that she did!  She fit right in like she had known us forever!  Thank you for speaking up and saying you wanted to come along!  I really enjoyed your company and dance moves!

Kathryn

Kathryn is my cousin and we are only about 2 months apart...her 30th is coming up at the end of January.  She has lived in CA all her life and we don't see much of each other, so I knew that I couldn't go to San Fran without including her when she only lives 45 minutes away!  I was so happy that she took off Friday and came to the city to hang out with us all day and all night!  It's always great to catch up with her!  Thank you so much for spending my birthday with me!  I can't wait until we see each other again!!!

I have to say that I have the best friends in the world...the ones that came on the trip and the ones that were unable to come.  I received many birthday wished from the friends that were unable to make it.  After Amanda decided to record me passed out on the ferry back to San Fran after the wine tour she sent it to my sister, who in turn laughed and sent me a text back...I was a little intoxicated so, I replied with "These girl's are not my friends." I got a message back from her that said, "Oh, please, you have the best friends ever." She is beyond right...