Disappointment

DISAPPOINTMENT...This word seems to be my major defeat right now.  I have a lot of people in my life that I love, trust, and cherish.  Then there are those people, the ones that you least expect that will tear you down, disappoint you, prove they aren't who they said they were….and well, you reap the emotions of pain, anxiety, tears, and heartache.
Yesterday, I was sorely disappointed by one person that I trust and KNEW was a genuinely good person.  As, I tossed and turned last night replaying every moment in my head, trying to figure out what happened, and just yearning for the feelings of hurt and disappointment to go way, I pleaded with my God to free me…
Free me from the pain….
Free me from the tears…
Free me from the anxiety…
….Just free me….
I begged for him to take my hand and lead to the path that he has built for me…one that I know doesn't have this feeling of disappointment in it.

As I fell into a restless sleep full of unwanted dreams, I was still full of all those emotional feelings that no one wants to feel.  I woke up this morning unsure of how to conquer this day…not quite sure how I felt, what I was going to do about the disappointment I was experiencing, but I dragged myself out of bed, pulled on my workout gear, painted a fake happy face on…

As I got into my car, I was longing for a song that would speak to my heart, I prayed for one…
…one that would make me smile a genuine smile.
…one that would touch my heart with a little happiness.
…one that would put my head in a good place.
And there it was…a song that I have loved since I first heard it…and it has always spoken to my heart. One that I know is oh so true!  I have only listened to it about 17 times this morning!  I began wishing that home wasn't 3.5 hours away…I need that feeling of love from people that don't struggle to give out me…the love that comes easy for them.

Through my sadness and tears, I know that I have big things ahead me.  I will not be down forever, but a girl has to cry every once in a while.  These tears were brought on by someone that I trusted, loved, enjoyed spending time with, and was able to talk to in a way that I have never been able to talk to anyone…and when those things are gone, tears are warranted! 

I have read this saying many of times before, but today, I needed it more than ever!  I have strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way…all because of HIM!