Results

I know this is a post that you are all anxiously awaiting, and I apologize for not posting it sooner, but I have been having a hard this week emotionally and mentally.  I am trying to be that brave, strong person that you all know, but sometimes it all just comes to a head and you have to let it out.  I think that if Ian looks over at me in the car one more time and I'm crying he might pull over and drop me off on the side of the road.  My mind is going a hundred miles a minute and spinning like crazy.  I'm so worried that I am not making the right decisions in my treatment…it's a constant battle to know what the right treatment plan is.
Alright, on to the result of my PET scan that I had last Monday.  My parents came to town for my appointment with my oncologist…that whole office knows that when my name is on the schedule that I will bring an entourage!  My primary tumor has shrunk 2 cm, but the cancer activity is increased.  I am not exactly sure what that means, but my oncologist didn't seem too worried about it.  The affected lymph nodes in my first PET scan are showing improvement.  However, there are two new lymph nodes that showed up, one in my chest and one in my abdomen.  They are small and the cancer activity isn't much at all, so my oncologist is thinking that they are enlarged due to inflammation from my cough that I have had for 3 weeks.  She wanted another radiologist to look at my scan before making a treatment recommendation and I should hear from her tomorrow.  While we didn't receive bad news, I think that we all wanted better news.
I'm not sure I can go through another round of chemo….I felt awful after the last one.  The oral treatment has a side effect of a rash that about 70% of the patients get, so of course I'm worried about a rash for my wedding.  However, the women that I have talked to that are on Tarceva were no evidence of disease within 6-8 months of starting the drug, and I am already 3 months into this diagnosis and haven't even started the drug yet.  So, as you can tell the emotional and mental game I am playing with myself as to what treatment plan I want to go with is definitely weighing on me.  And this cough, I am so over it.  I started coughing the weekend of 4th of July, and I am still coughing.  My oncologist prescribed me an antibiotic and I took my last dose today.  I think that it is getting better, but every time I think about it getting better, I start coughing.  I have eaten my weight in cough drops and am so over them, but they suppress my cough, so they are a necessity!  Those stupid little drops have even decreased my appetite because all I can taste is them.  UUGGG!!!  I will try to update more later this week when I hear from my oncologist, which should be tomorrow!

Tonight I will pray for all the doctors involved in my care that they make the best decision in my treatment plan, I pray that this cough will leave me alone, I pray for my emotional and mental well being, I will thank him for what he has given me in this life, I will thank him for the amazing sermon in church tonight of not giving up, it was just what I needed to hear, and I will of course thank him for him for I am standing tall and being brave because he has given me love, peace, and hope.

Round #4 = DUNZO!!!

AWWWW…I am finally done with round #4 of chemotherapy….but it's been a rough one.  This round hit me the hardest.  I think I even had Ian on his toes as he came home a couple days during lunch to check on me, and he never does that.  I was super exhausted on Wednesday and Thursday after my treatment…like I could not get off the couch and I am pretty sure that I slept 15+ hours those  days.  I also had bouts of vomitting with this treatment, which I haven't had before and well, they sucked!!!  Friday, I felt better, but was still super tired.  My cousin's from Kansas City came to town, and so it was good for me to get around and move about.  I didn't eat for about 3 days, but once I did, I certainly felt better and had more energy.  I am not going to let this cancer define what I do, and if that means pulling it together and going a long with the majority of the people…that is exactly what I will do.

My good friends Ting and Sabra went to me final round with me!!!  Ting showed up to be with me even after she fell at work and broke her knee cap….what a great friend she is!!

The next plan is to have a PET scan on July 18th at 8:30 am with a results appointment with my oncologist on July 20th to decide where we go from here!  Prayers for shrinkage of the tumor are in order for anyone that feels like they need to do something!  

Before my last chemo round, Ian and I traveled to my parents house for the 4th of July!  We had a great time as usual!  Ian played a ton of golf with my dad, and I spent a ton of time with my mom, sister, and nephew, and niece.  My dad loves 4th of July!  His neighbor and him have a show down as to who has the biggest and best fireworks, of course I'm bias, but it's a great show!!  

Ian and I are ready for the party to start!

These two sweet hearts have my whole heart!!  Love them to death!!!

Ian and I with Nora Jo and Owen!!  We sure look forward to seeing them and have so much fun with them!

My little sister's adorable little family!!!  They are the best!!!

I will go back to work this week and continue on with our daily life.  I am anxiously awaiting my scan and the results, but I will keep on going on as that is what I need to do!! 

Tonight as I go to bed, I will pray for my scans and that this chemo has been doing it's job,  I will pray for all the other cancer fighters that are going through these horrible side effects of chemo,  I will pray for my friend Ting, who had surgery on her knee yesterday,  I will thank him for having a loving family who calls everyday to make sure that I am ok, I will thank him for Ian, that man has gotten me through these last couple of days, I will thank him for the time that I got to spend with my cousins this weekend, and most importantly, I will thank him for him, like usual, I would not have been been able to get through these last couple of days if it wasn't for him to wrap his arms around me and whisper to me that everything is going to be ok!

A Wedding & Vacation

I finally was able to sit down tonight and update my page!!  I know that people are wondering what is going on, but I have been super busy!  Ian and I got back from vacation on Sunday and I went back to work Monday, so I have been exhausted every night that I have come home.  Tonight, I am actually not too tired, it's probably the adrenaline rush with a couple patients right before I left work that gave me all the energy.

Today is my little princess' birthday!  She is 5, and I can't believe that she has been in my life that long! When I was diagnosed, I was in the hospital for 5 days, Ian said he would go home at night and she would sit on the couch and stare at the door waiting for me to walk through it at anytime.  When I came home Mia trembled in my arms for 30 minutes!  She knew, she always knows!  On my worst days she cuddles with me a little more and licks my tears away…she knows when I need a little extra lovin'!

Happy Birthday baby girl…you really do make our little family complete!  We love you princess!! 

Family picture from our trip to PA last year!

My little Chiefs cheerleader!!! 

WEDDING!!!!
On June 18th, I was a part of a very good friend's wedding!  I was so honored!  Lexie was as gorgeous as ever and as happy as I have ever seen her!  Her wedding was amazing!!  However, I now have to-do list a mile long and I've had a mini freak out session about how much I need to do when I thought I was pretty much done planning my own wedding!  But, I'm not! Anyway, it was so good catching up with sorority sisters that I haven't seen in years and introduce Ian to all my friends that I always talk about, but he has no idea who they are!  Ian had a great time and is a social person, so he made himself right at home at the Delta Zeta table!

The Bridesmaids and the beautiful Kansas City skyline!!!

Love that gorgeous bride!!!

Ready to line up!!!

Love this girl!!! Mel, you are one of the strongest women I know!  I love you attitude and spunkiness despite the trials that you face in life!!  

All the Delta Zeta's that were in attendance!!  I don't think any of us are on the wall in the house anymore, but that doesn't mean that we still don't love each other after all these years!

Ian and I at the dance!  So glad that he had fun!!!

VACATION!!!

Ian and I left Kansas City Sunday morning and headed to Pittsburgh to see his mom for a week!  We always have a great time when we visit there!!  We went into Pittsburgh for a Pirates baseball game, hung out with his family, shopped, and his mom threw us a couple's shower!  We had a blast!  Although we love going back to PA, we were ready to head home!!  

The City of Pittsburgh from PNC park!

Ian and I with the beautiful Pittsburgh skyline behind us!

The set up was AMAZING!!!  Linda went all out for us and we will be forever grateful!!!

Everyone enjoyed the food!  Linda chose Ian's favorite, Chicken Parmesan!!!  She will forever spoil her boy! 

Enjoying the yummy food!

Ian's dad's family!  Including the only grandparent we have left between the both of us!

Ian's mom's family!  They are so much fun!!!

Can't wait to be part of this family!  We were just missing Shannon's (Ian's sister's) husband!

We had a great time at the shower!  I was so happy that Ian's college buddies showed up!  It really made Ian light up!  We didn't want our time to end, especially Linda!  The next time we see each other, it'll be wedding time!

I had chemo 2 days before I left for the wedding I was in…right during my achy phase of recovering from the treatment.  I took the claritin that the NP recommended, but it didn't work for me; probably because I only took it two days before my aches started!  So, I had to resort to my pain pills that I had left over from when I was in hospital and had surgery.  The flight to KC was great…I was so relaxed and slept!  The day of the wedding wasn't too bad, and I only took one pain pill all day!  I also had my mind on the wedding and having fun, so I'm sure that took some of the pain away!  After Saturday, I felt good…I was just tired from the excitement of the wedding!  Ian and I both took naps when we got to PA…we needed them!!

I went back to work Monday, and I am gad to be back!  Sitting at home was getting the best of me and I would find myself thinking about cancer all the time!  There was a couple time Ian would say, "I don't think about the cancer anymore." And I would think to myself, how can you know think about it, it is our reality, we are living this nightmare, it will forever be a part of our lives; but his mind was busy with work and I was just sitting at home with my mind going non-stop.  I'm getting in the swing of things.  My director and new manager are so understanding and letting me work office works full time for a while until I get back in the groove!  I'm so thankful for that!  

Yesterday marked 2 months since my diagnosis and it's hard to believe I have been living with this for 2 months. My next chemo is July 5th!  MY LAST ONE!!!  I am so happy!!!  The first 3 treatments gave me so much anxiety before I had them because I dreaded the side effects.  While I still dread the side effects of this time around, I am happy that it'll be the last time that I have to endure it!  I am guessing that we will do more scans 3 weeks after my treatment on the 5th because each treatment is a 3 week cycle.  

Tonight I pray for my friend Lexie and her new husband as they begin their life together, I pray for my soon to be new family that we will have the happiest times together and our love will continue to grow, I pray for Mia's health and to be with us as long as possible, I pray for everyone that loved us enough to come to our shower, I pray for peace as I come upon my last chemo treatment, I pray that this chemo is knocking this cancer out (every time I have a little cough, I worry), I thank God for all the people at work that have been so supportive and understanding, I thank God for the opportunity to be healthy enough to go back to work, I thank God for Ian, he is my rock through all this, and lastly I thank God for him, he truly has given me the grace to carry this diagnosis and not be angry with what I can't control, he has given me humbleness and to realize that cancer knows no one, he has given me love, from so many people; some I know, some I don't.  

Round #3 = DUNZO

I had my 3rd round of chemotherapy today!!!  Thank goodness they only had to stick me one time in order to get my IV…I was so relieved!  I still have a bruise on my arm from when they poked me four times last week!  It was such a joy to have my good friends Alyssa and Sarah there with me…Sarah even brought us Starbucks!!!  Having great friends join me makes my treatments go by so freaking fast!!!  I love it!! Plus, it's a bonus to catch up with them and chit chat!!!

Alyssa and I during my third round of chemo!!  I work with her and she has become such a great and special friend to me!!!  Her and her husband have brought us a meal, she came to my first chemo round with another girl I work with and gave my mom, Linda, and me a stand up to cancer bracelet, she brought me the cutest coffee cup that she made with a more tea today!  She is so thoughtful and creative!!!  I just love her!

Sarah and I during my third round of chemo!!!  She is such a great friend!  We have been through so much together!  I helped her through a tough situation about a year and half ago, and when I was diagnosed, she hasn't left my side!!!  I love that she was there today!!

After reading several blogs, I went to my treatment with so many questions!!!

Can I get more information about my mutations as I was really shocked to learn through some blogs that I will be on an oral form of chemotherapy for the rest of my life?  

The mutation that I have is a mutation of the cancer cell DNA, I thought it was my DNA and therefore it would be a genetic mutation and I was worried about my sisters getting this cancer.  The mutation is not genetic.  I will have to be on oral chemotherapy for the rest of my life due to the stage of my cancer, not because of the mutation.  There are just specific medications that target my mutations.  I will have one more treatment of IV chemotherapy and will then have scans 3 weeks after my last round.  At that time I will be put on Tarceva.  My body can build up a resistance to the Tarceva and if that happens it will stop working, but that is not the end of treatment.  There are at least 4 more drugs to be able to use if the Tarceva stops working and they have all been FDA approved only since August!  

I have noticed that most of the blogs that I have read the patients are started on Tarceva right away.  Why was I started on IV chemotherapy and not Tarceva right away?  

I was started on IV chemotherapy because my oncologist wasn't comfortable waiting for the mutations to come back in order to start treatment with my advanced stage of disease.  So, she started to treat me with what I would have been treated with if I didn't have a mutation.  I will eventually be on Tarceva.

I have been having bone pain about 3 days after my treatment and Tylenol hasn't been working to make me more comfortable.  Can I take the hydrocodone that I have left over from my surgery?

The bone pain is originating from my bone marrow.  The chemotherapy attacks all cells, healthy and cancer cells.  So it attacks my bone marrow, causing the bone pain.  I believe I have written in one of my blogs that I wouldn't even let Ian hug me because of the pain and I didn't sleep well the night I had the pain.  I was having pain in my sternum, back of my skull, the back of my ribs, and my pelvis.  The answer to the question is that yes, I can take my hydrocodone as I can't have ibuprofen or naproxen for pain because of their effects on my platelets.  She also suggested that I take Claritin, which I had no idea that it helped with bone pain.  So, I started taking that today when I got home from my treatment. 

Can I go back to work?

Yes, I will be going back to work June 27th!  I am excited to get back to my normal life that involves work.  I have no limitation when I go back!  I have discussed this with my director and she is willing to work with me to get me worked back up to my 12 hours shifts.  I just don't think that I have the stamina to go back to full time 12 hour shifts right away.  So, I will be working back up to that by doing more office hours in my ANM role!!  I am ready to see all my staff and be normal!  I am getting bored at home, there is only so much TV and book reading a person can do before they want to poke their eyes out!!!!  

After chemo, Alyssa, Sarah, and I went to get a manicure and pedicure!  It was so amazing!!  I just love the time that I spend with those girls!!  What great friends they are!!

A girl that went to my high school made this and posted it to Facebook today!!!  I love it!!  It is my motto!  Leesa is also a cancer survivor as she has beaten uterine cancer!  Leesa, thank you so much for making this!  I am honored that you would think of me and take the time to put this together!  I really do love it!  It is so special!!! 

On Friday, Ian and I will be headed to Kansas City for my friend's wedding that I am in on Saturday!  I am so glad that I don't have the title of "Always the Bridesmaid, never the Bride" anymore, as I am next one in our friend group to get married.  However, the amount of bridesmaid dresses I have is unreal!!!  On Sunday, we will fly from Kansas City to Pittsburgh to visit Ian's mom for the week!  She is throwing us a couple's shower with friends and family that live in PA as some of them can't make the wedding!  We are excited for the week of vacation and relaxation!  

Tonight I will thank God that round #3 is complete, I will pray for minimal side effects, I will pray for all the people I have met this last week or read about through their blogs, I will thank God that I have the best friends that care so much for me that they spend the day sitting at chemo with me, I will pray for safe travels for my uncle who headed to Rome today, I will then thank God for him, as always I am in awe of his almighty power to give me what I need to continue my fight!  

Lung Force Walk

This weekend, a group of my friends put together a team in my honor for the Lung Force Walk that was hosted by the American Lung Association.  We had close to 40 people on the team walking in my honor.  It was such an amazing day!  This was their 2nd Annual Lung Force Walk and they raised $50,000…which was AMAZING!!!  Last year, they raised $15,000, so the increase in money raised for lung disease and lung cancer awareness was phenomenal!  I had such a good time seeing friends that I haven't seen in a long time that came out to support me, a great time with my family who drove and flew in for the event, a great time meeting a lady that was diagnosed in August and is now "no evidence of disease", and over all, I was just humbled by the amount of people that care and want to bring awareness to lung cancer and the rapid increase in women!

All of my fabulous supporters!!!  One never knows exactly how much they are loved until they need all the love they can get!!!  I can't thank each and everyone of you enough for coming out to support me and help raise money for the awareness of the disease that has attacked my body!  All of you made a difference in lung cancer awareness this weekend.  I am so proud to call you my supporters!

I love that my family made the trip to walk by my side!

My sisters…what a great support they have been…whether I need to talk, be silent, cry, or laugh; they have never left my side and have dropped everything when I call!

I just love this picture that Liz took when I didn't even know it!!  

These 3 have been a huge supporters, contacting me to make sure that I am ok or just to ask how I am feeling.

I met Erica and her husband, Mike through my good friend Sabra.  Erica works for lung cancer research at the University hospital here in Denver.  She recently hosted a Stand Up to Cancer bike ride to help sponsor  her relay bike ride across the U.S..  She rides from Denver to Kansas City for Stand Up to Cancer in September.   She has already talked to the organizer of the walk to see if the company she works for can help sponsor to make the event bigger next year.  What a blessing she has been since my diagnosis.  She makes me feel good about my oncologist and treatment plan!  I'm so blessed to have her in my life! 

Sabra's friend Susie flew in from Iowa for the weekend and to join us in the walk!  Sabra, my good friend and bridesmaid, designed our shirts!  I used to work with Eric, and just met his fiancé this weekend at the walk…I didn't know how much I touched Eric when we worked together, it's always nice to hear that you taught someone something and that they cherish it! 

I currently work with someone these gals and used to work with some of them, and look at them coming out to support me!  I am so incredibly blessed to have a huge support system, I couldn't get through this without them!

The archway we walked under to start the walk!!

The lung walk also had Lung Force Heros.  Four women with lung cancer told their story before the walk.  I had the pleasure of meeting one of them.  Lisa was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer with the EGFR mutation in August.  She got on a drug called Tarceva, and in April she was given the news that she is "no evidence of disease" (NED), which means that she could still have small cancer cells in her body, but they aren't big enough to light up on the PET scan.  It's amazing that after only 8 months of being on Tarceva, she is NED.  That gives me hope as Tarceva will be the drug that I will potentially be on after my 4th round of chemotherapy.  Even though I would never pick this battle for myself if I was given the choice, I have loved meeting people that really understand what I am going through and how all this cancer and chemotherapy stuff works!  

Today, I prayed for my family and thanked God that I was blessed with an amazing family, I thanked God that I felt good enough to play dinosaurs with Owen this weekend, I prayed that there will someday be a cure for lung disease, I prayed for Lisa, I prayed for each and everyone of my supporters that came to the lung walk, and I thanked him for him once again because without his almighty power to give me hope, courage, strength, and love to continue to fight my battle, I would be completely lost. 

Happy Memorial Day!

Posted May 30, 2016 on www.caringbridge.org/visit/allisonchaput

Happy Memorial Day to everyone!  I hope that you were able to be with your family and friends remembering what this holiday is all about!!!  Ian and I didn't make any plans for this weekend as I just didn't know how I would feel after my chemo treatment last week!  I sure did miss my family as they were all together in South Dakota this weekend! 
My chemo treatment hit me a little harder this go round!  I was super tired and nauseous both Thursday and Friday, like I didn't get off the couch all day.  My jawbone, step counter says I took 671 steps total for all day Friday….yikes!  Saturday, I wasn't as tired, but I had those flu-like aches that they warned me about.  There were several times that Ian tried to hug me and it just hurt to the point that I would have rather not been touched.  I didn't sleep well on Saturday due to the aches, I should've taken a pain pill, but I didn't.  Lesson learned for the next go around!  Yesterday and today have been better.  I have more energy and my appetite is back!  I can deal with a few days of feeling bad if it means that this treatment is working! 
Yesterday morning, I had a rough morning.  I had been reading a blog all week after my chemo treatment that is written by a girl that was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at 33 and she has the same mutation that I have.  I guess I didn't know anything about the mutation until I read her blog and I now have so many questions for my oncologist when I see her again in 3 weeks.  I just had a day of feeling sorry for myself and wondering if I would ever have a moment again where I would go a day without thinking, "I have cancer".  And the truth is, no, I will always have this cancer.  It is mutation in my DNA so as long as I am alive, I will have to take a drug in order for the mutation to not to invade my body.  My immune system doesn't recognize the mutation so it doesn't fight against it.  Overall, I am glad that I found her blog and read it, but it also depressed me some.  I went to church and had the toughest time getting through mass without crying.  At one, point I looked down at my engagement ring and wondered who I would leave it to if I died? Who would carry on my legacy like I carry on my grandma's and Ian's grandma's by wearing their jewelry? Needless to say, I had a down day, but those days are normal and expected.  The reality of this all hit me and there I was vulnerable, but then I remembered a text that my older sister sent me when I was in the hospital and having a rough morning, "Tears are prayers when we can't find the words to say."  And I cried, I let it all out in church and it felt so good!  I know that our Lord had his arms around me, and he was just waiting for me to give it all to him.  And I did!  It doesn't matter how we treat this, how we deal with this, or how we look at the future, it is all in God's hands, and I have given it all to him!
Today, I am better, but the thoughts of having cancer still crossed my mind multiple times.  It has been one month since my diagnosis.  When I look back on this month, my life isn't where I wanted it to be or even planned for it to be, but this is my life. I am supposed to be starting a new semester of grad school tomorrow and here I am fighting for my life instead, not something that I ever thought I would have to do. But, I will embrace it and make the most of it.  I have no other choice than to be strong and fight with all my might!
Tonight as I lay my head down, I will pray for those that had fought for our country and never made it home, I will pray for mental and emotional peace for myself, I will pray for my family and friends who are fighting along side with me, I will pray for Samantha, the girl in the blog, I will pray for a wonderful week with my friend Rosa.  Most importantly, I will thank God for giving me the emotions that it takes to get through this nightmare, for the peace, love, hope, and strength to get through the bad days and make the most of the good days, and I will thank him for him as he has all the control and his will is the way.  

Round #2=DUNZO!!!!

Posted May 25, 2016 on www.caringbridge.org/visit/allisonchaput

I had my second round of chemotherapy today, and I am one step closer to beating this cancer!!!  I was so happy to be done, but I am dreading tomorrow as my side effects of fatigue, nausea, and heartburn started the day after I had my first treatment. But I will over come it….I was reminded today that all those nasty side effects are just ridding my body of this cancer!  I was a little irritated that it took 2 nurses and 4 sticks later to get an IV in me. I can start all the IV's and give all the shots I want, but once those needles are headed toward my veins, I get a little anxious!  When I was in the hospital and it took the lab techs 3 different sticks every time they tried to draw blood, I kept telling myself that this was just the start of it, and boy was I right after today!  I will probably not get a port as hopefully, I will only need 2 more treatments and then we will switch to oral form of chemo that targets my mutation.  Plus, I don't want a port if I don't have to have one because I don't want it showing on my wedding day!  
I had a great conversation with a lady that has been fighting cancer since she was 18 and is now in her mid-40's.  She was so positive and the sweetest lady!  Say a few prayers for her, she needs them as she is fighting a reoccurrence of endometrial cancer, but it now in her abdomen and spread to her lungs.  Even through her diagnosis, she was giving me advice and was incredibly sincere!  My heart just breaks for her!  I enjoyed her conversation!  
Thank you from the bottom of heart to my co-worker and friend, Shannan!  Shannan dropped everything and took my to my chemo appointment today and bought me lunch!  We had a great conversation and the treatment went by so fast when you are catching it up with a friend!  I was relieved that she was able to go with me!  Thank you so much!!!  
I also want to thank everyone who has donated to my youcaring.com site!  I am overwhelmed by the amount of generosity from each and everyone of you!  Words can't express how honored I am that I have all of your support!  My heart is so incredibly full!!  I wish that is was possible to thank each of you personally, but know that I am so grateful for you!  All the funds raised on that site will go toward my medical bills!  Thanks again!
This morning I prayed for strength to get through my chemo treatment, I prayed for the nurses that would be administering my treatment, I thanked God for being able to keep my life as normal as possible, I thanked God for my amazing support system, I prayed for everyone that has donated to my website, I thanked God for my life, and of, course I thanked him for him who has given me peace, faith, strength, love, hope, and the mechanism of fighting through difficulties with as much dignity as I can!